This Blog is about the Power of Expectations, how to use the energetics of Intention as a Bridge, and how to align with moments of Peace.
New Power phrase 'Bridge It!'
It seems appropriate that as I start to write this latest blog I can hear the rumbling of an approaching thunderstorm.
The weather network had been 'following' this storm, and at one point in time had tornado watches and warnings in place - which thankfully have since subsided.
The storm itself continues to move through the province - doing what storms do - express and dissipate energies.
A Wise Woman I know once told me that part of the reason Thunderstorms are so powerful, and speak to the majority of us so deeply, is that they contain all the elements - as do we----Fire, Water, Air and Earth.
The evolution of the storm from 'mild' to 'severe' to 'rotation seen' to Tornado watch and warnings, and then the dissipation of the watch/warnings, with the continued 'possibility of severe storms' serves as a beautiful and easily understood example of how expectations color our experiences.
It was intriguing to witness my internal responses, and how they changed from my usual enjoyment of thunderstorms into the OMG a Tornado watch-----and by using the energetic Bridge of Intention to Be with myself and my expectations --- I was able to witness as I attuned to the storm, acknowledged it's energies, recognized the thought patterns that influence how I perceive the experience, surrendered judgement and expectations, and rested in what I can 'do' or 'be' - which is to tune into asking for the Highest and Best for the storm and all in it's path.
Thereby 'bridging' into a moment of peace even as it continues to storm.
This awareness of the need to 'Be With It and Bridge It' arose out of the slowly increasing work overwhelm I was experiencing in my 'conventional job' as a teletriage RN.
While I bring a daily awareness of my energies and the energies around me to my workspace, I was slowly becoming aware over a period of weeks, that I was experiencing, and seeing my colleagues feeling, increasing overwhelm in the face of what felt like an unending que of callers, insufficient staffing, a provincial government that is apparently hell bent on having the nursing population take the brunt of all financial hits experienced by the government, which frankly felt like a kick in the teeth after all we have experienced in the past 18 months.
And when I say 'see' my colleagues feeling increasing overwhelm, know that as an intuitive empath, I do indeed 'see' the emotions building, ironically not unlike a thunder storm in nature.
I was surprised to find that as time went on, my usual 'bag of tricks' did not seem to be helping as much as it had before - either for myself or the workplace.
In retrospect, I believe I came as close to burn out as I care to experience.
It became clear, that I was not able to connect with the joy that usually accompanies my nursing practice, and that something was 'missing'
I have chosen to utilize the past two weeks to do some deep diving, working with all of the attunements, initiations, learnings, and teachings I've experienced in my Journey as a Mystic Midwife, a Soul Birther, a Holistic Healer and Wise Womb'an, over the past three decades.
With this superb company, and the support of my Soul SiStars - I came to a deeper understanding of the energies and perceptions that led to this feeling of stalemate.
Can really sum it up quite nicely in one word Expectation.
Expectations: we carry expectations in every area of our lives, some of which we are aware of, and some we only become aware of when they are not met. This is true of the expectations we carry for and about ourselves and others, and what others carry about us.
Expectations can be fluid and evolve, or they can be static and rather demanding.
Expectations color how we receive the events of our lives, and whether we react or create.
Expectations can be reachable or impossible
Expectations can be reasonable or unreasonable.
Consider an expectation to be like a news story - it carries a topic, a plot and an 'expected outcome'
When life 'throws a plot twist' and the expectation can not be met - 'storms arise'
Much like needing an umbrella when in a rain storm - expectations and the e-motions they produce can be like a stream, a brook or a raging river.
When we simply give up, and are immersed in the tides of expectation, we are carried along, like a stick in the water, with no direction, no sense of empowerment, and certainly no awareness of choice.
This creates 'more of the same'
How do we navigate expectations in a meaningful way?
I was shown the image of a Bridge and a Bee.
I understood the Bee to symbolize the importance of Choosing to Be (Bee) Present with Ourselves -I
As we 'BE PRESENT" we are no longer carried by the currents, but begin to navigate them
I understood the image of the Bridge to show how being present to ourselves actually creates an energetic bridge, which lifts us above the sensations of being carried by the currents and into the ability to be present to what we are feeling/thinking/expecting.
When we do this, when we 'allow' ourselves to simply rest in the flow of awareness, energy and e-motion that is contained within an expectation, we 'flow' and we move beyond stagnation and more of the same.
Expectations, are not 'bad'
They do however carry a 'story' - much like a book - and when we listen to the plot, we allow evolution, in essence, 'letting the expectation complete it's energetic job'.
We all know how good it feels to 'finish a task', to 'get the job done'
How fabulous is it, that by sitting with our expectations, that we allow energetic completion in a way that feels validating.
AND the bonus of course, is that because we be in a space of allowance, and flow, we 'allow' and 'receive' the inspirations and choices that are held at the end of the expectation and our willingness to listen to it.
The Pot of Gold at the end of the Rainbow if you will.
However, there are no 'quick get rich schemes' with Being Present.
It requires courage, intention, and the knowledge that when we move into willingness to Be with Ourselves as we Be, we allow flow, and THEN we can receive the Whispers of Wisdom that are always there.
In the hope that being transparent with one of my expectations assists you in allowing your own:
I realized I had the feeling of not being listened to, that my overwhelm/upset was not being voiced, and when it was, not feeling heard because those who heard it were quick to want to 'help me' or 'fix it' or 'minimize it' according to their needs.
I identified that I have the expectation that when I feel overwhelm, frustration, 'so over this-ness' that it be listened to.
- I have the expectation that if I come to you and share with you where I feel overwhelmed, sad, angry, upset or frustrated, I come to be listened to, I simply want you to hold a space to listen, to witness, to validate.
The only energetics that you need provide is your listening, which acts as an act of acceptance.
When you listen, you provide the energetics of 'Of Course'
Of Course you feel this way.
I do not require you to own it, to take response-ability for it, to fix it, modify it, fear it, correct it, deny it or to insist that I move to a regurgitation of gratitude and possibility before I am ready to.
Understand this to be evidence of evolution, as there was a time when I truly believed to be a healer (insert parent, friend, partner etc) that I must 'help you' move out of the intensities, that any expectations or e-motions difficult to hear or be with, must be fixed, or 'lifted to the light'
I didn't yet have the sight to see that Light exists in the midst of what appears to be dark.
So to those of you, whom I could not hear before, I offer an apology.
As a lightworker and holistic practitioner I now have awareness around the pitfalls of relentless optimism There is nothing wrong with optimism, and indeed I consider myself to be an Optimyst. However as humans, we carry a plethora of emotions and not all of them are sweetness and light.
I believe that every e-motion (energy in motion) carries with it wisdom and possibility, however to receive the gifts within the e-motion, there needs to be a space - a sacred space - held to allow the more intense or unpleasant or 'negative' feelings and experiences to be heard, and validated as they are - undiluted, not corrected or modified. Even the wording of positive and negative demonstrates an expectation - that one is somehow more desirable than the other. Not true.
This is a free flowing, an allowing - and when we 'allow', simply 'allow' as it currently is, we move beyond the need to justify or defend. Hear that clearly - internal justification and defense occur when we are unable to create a space in which we feel heard and allowed either by ourselves or others. How will you know if you are in this space?, you will repeat and repeat the story with no sense of relief - when this happens, ask yourself who is not listening?
It may be that you have an expectation to be heard from someone who can not hear you the way you need to be heard.
You know who is always ready and able to listen to you---Your Self!
It is equally important that while as humans, while we may prefer to have another listen to our current experiences and expectations --it is critical that we honor ourselves by being present to our own story, listening to hear ourselves.
Make no mistake - this is not about holding someone else responsible for our expectations, it is about allowing ourselves to be present to ourselves as we identify what our expectations are, and how they color and influence our daily lives.
Sitting with our expectations and the e-motions they carry will eventually take us to the 'shores of understanding' but we need to be swimming with them for as long as it takes for simple allowance and recognition of what we feel/think without blame/shame
By setting the intention of Being Present we bring awareness and 'listening' as we honor our own
intense e-motions or witnessing another's------ we allow it to be described and heard----
what it feels like, what it looks like, what expectations and belief's are being revealed, and receive it as is. This is not the moment to modify/change/mask it. or judge the 'wrongness' of it.
Simply let it Be.
Whether this expectation and it's story are heard by another or heard by yourself, Know that every emotion carries a story, and when we allow the story to be expressed as is - energy moves, and space is created.
On your Bridge of presence, bring in Compassionate Curiosity - Be with this expectation and the e-motions it brigs up. Ask questions. What is this about? What is here for me to see? Where else have I felt like this? What is there to know here? Who is here from across the realms to assist me with insight and caring? Who, in addition to myself is here to hear me?
You may find it helpful to imagine a beloved ancestor, or a wise Guide sitting with you as you 'Be' with yourself.
Bring in the realization that there needed to be a sacred recognition of all that didn't feel right and bright and good - which ironically allows for an actual healing/shift/insights.
Honoring who you Be in the moment, and Bridging with Compassionate Curiosity and Presence, will indeed allow currents to flow, attitudes to shift, awareness's to arrive, and from that - Being Able to Make Choices rather than Reactions.